Wednesday, February 24, 2021

Out of my Shell

Out of my Shell: 
A personal journey to developing interpersonal skills 


No one is born skilled in a certain practice or way of life, we grow into it. 

Now I want to share my journey to how I developed my interpersonal skills. 

I wasn't always so outgoing, clear, and direct in my interactions with others. I was the kind of toddler who would have a mental breakdown and go into a fit of tears begging my mom not to leave me with strangers at school or daycare.

 I remember when at about 5 years old I would beg my mom, crying, to take me with her to school and then receive a candy from the college staff and sit right next to her for a day while she worked on her schoolwork.
 I absolutely feared what I considered others to be just all "strangers". The thought of the unknown caused me great anxiety. 

As the years went by finishing elementary, going on to middle school and finally high school - not much had changed.
 I still had anxiety in most social situations and looking back now I really overthought pretty much everything. 
I was a pure perfectionist, especially in high school and took many things personally that I see now didn't have much to do with anything really important.

 I didn't cry and throw fits anymore at that point obviously, but this time especially around middle and high school years the anxiety became inverted, I displayed a somewhat happy and content outside yet simmering with self-damaging anxiety and over-exaggerated worry on the inside. 


This little monster of anxiety and worry became something a little bigger during the pressures of high school. 
I rarely stayed in the cafeteria and always found a way to sneak out into the school library. There I would work on schoolwork, listen to music in my earphones, and then with any free time I would study astrology intensively. 

Interesting enough, and sort of surprising actually - the study of astrology at that point in high school really helped me reach out and relate to others in a way I haven't been able to before. 

Studying the patterns I found in common with certain groups of individuals in regards to the date that they were born, I was able to sort of predict what to expect from others and therefore have much higher levels of tolerance, understanding, and patience; not only for others but also for myself as well. 

After studying astrology I was able to see the strong points and less perfected points in others and myself, including the little habits that contribute to an individual's most likely behavior and where that could possibly be coming from. 

However, in no way am I saying that others should also study astrology, for me at the time astrology served as a necessary crutch to facilitate a more open mind and positively tolerant perspective of life. 


Shortly after this time of studying astrology and graduating high school ahead of my class I had begun breaking out of my chrysalis, shortly one year after as a catalyst I began work in the customer service area, from then has just been another level of experience over the other, sort of like the layers of bark on a tree stump. 


Immediately after begininning my work with the public I had sort of began to feel as a co-city mayor or something of the sort, not in authority but in my every day interactions with so many individuals and lending every single one of them an ear and free space for self-expression. 

In this way being exposed to so many cultures, families of endless backgrounds I have adopted a general tolerance and gratefulness for the inherent individuality of the citizens of this earth. 

I don't see us anymore as an end to ourselves, but more as part of the grand scheme of a very powerful life-giving Creator. 

Now after about 3 years of working in the customer service industry, I confidently say that I could approach just about anyone and know in which way would be best.

Thank you for reading my blog ❣️ I hope the information and topics I've covered have helped you in some way, if you have any ideas you would like me to cover here, questions, or comments you may email me at luciannanicole10@gmail.com

Tuesday, February 2, 2021

Tips: How to be your own best company

A few tips on how to be your own best company and best friend... 

* take yourself to dine alone at a fancy restaurant as a special treat (best to take order to-go during covid-19 situation we find ourselves in and dine at home if possible, also an option to order from the restaurant on a third party app like Uber Eats)

 * buy flowers or a plant you like for yourself (or as a gift for someone else) 

 * learn a new language or brush up on one (especially second generation individual (like me (:+)/ ) /if you are traveling to a new foreign country soon) 
 * Take sometime outside the house in the morning, sit down, stand, or walk around a bit - to breathe in the fresh morning air and just think - 

 * Take a walk in the daytime, morning, afternoon, around the neighborhood or at a park (breathe in deeply, take in the surrounding nature, and helps to think more clearly about other issues you are facing in day-to-day life and/or decisions) 

 * Brush up on skin care, hair care, self-care routine 

 * Pray, reflect in journal writing and/or blog writing 

 * Write down plans and goals that you've had and hadn't really gotten around to, and brainstorm on ways to materialize and incorporate those goals in your life 

 * Discover talents or interests you may not have known you had - learn something new or brush up new skills of what you already know, listen to new music, visit somewhere new that interests you 
 * Take a warm bubble bath break for about an hour with candles, epsom salt, relaxing music and just forget the world for a moment 

 * Write a list of things you have accomplished and another list of everything you are grateful for until you get tired of writing/typing, look over everything and smile, also a pat on the back (optional) 

* Write down and think about something you have learned today or recently 

 * Do a random act of kindness, even if you need to force yourself and get out of your comfort zone