Amidst all of the anxiety and excitement at this time in the world and in our local communities,
for every individual and every family, the would if's and the ever more present pressures that we are all facing at the time of this pandemic,
What comes to mind during these times is that as we are each given the gift of life, we are also forced to accept the other side of the coin of death and failure, fears and anxiety.
The would if's and could be's, like the monster hiding under our bed when we were toddlers.
Like the existential crisis I went through growing up at about 5 years old,
not being able to fully comprehend that I am a living breathing human being with a heart pumping about 5 liters of blood per minute, veins and arteries all over, lungs that can't stop inhaling and exhaling, a heart that can't stop it's unique rhythm of beating, or else the other side of the coin greets me, the other side that is universally known as death. I struggled to understand how fragile each and every part of my body is, not to mention the time when I completely forgot how to chew food and how I used to hope to get sick to stay home from school, be served hot soup in bed, and not have to do any chores around the house.
Later regretting that being sick meant limited use of my body, of course a lot of discomfort and every so often accompanied by pain.
Pain and discomfort that I wished so much at that moment that I could be healthy again, and only then grateful for the healthy body I had had before wishing to stay home sick.
The interesting thing though, is at that moment that I was sick, at the weakest moment of my body, I had also felt closest to God. I felt like all I could do is surrender to life even if that meant leaving, I felt free of blame, free of obligations, free of life's pressures and just accepting the process, like I've done my best and whatever happens happens. Of course, don't get me wrong, we should fight with all of our strength and might to preserve life, what I went through while being sick I wish upon no one else and we should never in no way cause any harm to ourselves.
However, this world is an illusion and God creates miracles every moment, however small or big we may judge it to be from our perspective - everything counts.
See, what we call death is not actually death, it is the detachment of our soul from the body, where the body goes back to the earth in the form of decomposition and the soul goes back to its purely eternal life state because there is no longer any intermediary to contain it in the body (i.e. blood).
This world is an illusion because our body is a "vehicle" for our soul, a vehicle without a soul cannot be driven and a soul without a "vehicle" is not in a body. So, the body is basically useless without the soul.
A person can seem different from the outside but feel very much different in themselves, in their own soul.
A person looking only from the outside may judge them as they should be sad, stressed, giving up, etc... but the soul in that individual's body may see and feel things from a very different perspective.
A mother who seems to be falling apart from the outside may give birth to a very healthy baby,
individuals involved in an ugly car crash could come out with little to no injuries,
A person fired from a job may actually be grateful later on and find other opportunities that before wouldn't had been possible had they stayed in that same job,
Someone that had happened to have gone through a misfortune may be able to connect to others in a more genuine way than before and help in ways that they would had never thought of before the "misfortune",
there are sicknesses that we may have caught early on in life which could have strengthened our immune system later on in life for handling more serious illnesses more efficiently,
there are individuals that go to school and even graduate but then later have a student loan that completely outweighs the annual income gained from their profession,
there are individuals that are grown up with all of the basic necessities and luxuries this life can offer and still find themselves in depression, a feeling of lack inside of themselves, and insecurities,
there are couples that look "perfect" on the outside but their relationship is truly anemic, and they only come to realize this most of the time when they finally really spend some genuine one on one time with each other
and vice-versa there are couples that look like their life is crazy but are the happiest and most grateful to be together.
So this is the essence of the life,
the ever present miracle of life,
acceptance of the process
and blessing of every moment.
