Friday, December 4, 2020

skeletons in the closet


Skeletons in the closet
google search definition:

"a colloquial phrase and idiom used to describe an undisclosed fact about someone which, if revealed, would damage perceptions of the person;"

As I was reading the book Casamento Blindado (Bulletproof Marriage)
in the very first pages, came the topic of revealing the past of each partner, essentially each person has their own personal baggage from their past that they carry along whether they like it or not - how they were raised, past experiences - it is a part of them because it is a part of their history.


To understand where we are now, and to where we are headed, we must first understand from where we come from in every sense and how that makes us who we are.

I am more than 100% sure that most every person has parts of their history that they are not so excited to share with the whole world at just any moment. They are things that are not so easily understood, especially in the wrong context could lead to many unwanted misunderstandings.

What do I mean specifically when saying skeletons in the closet? 
That definition depends on the personal perspective of each person,
for some the envisioned "skeleton" may seem so real but in reality be something entirely insignificant in that context. 

For example: 
A teenage girl afraid of revealing her talent of playing the violin for fear of unwanted attention.


The real "skeleton" perceived would be something that reasonably could cause some form of  misunderstandings that undermine or severely threat personal well-being/reputation. 
Usually and very often something very disturbing that is seen as "best left unsaid".

For example: 
(hard to write an example ... real "skeletonsare very disturbing, and many times go against social norms)

A mother is afraid of telling her young daughter that their grandmother has been involved in witchcraft.


Many times, couples get married with only but a superficial understanding of each other's histories. Much in part to impress one another during the dating part before marriage. This complicates their marriage because these skeletons in the closet are revealed naturally as time goes by, when these histories show to affect the life of the couple.

From a personal perspective... revealing the "skeletons in the closet" is definitely much easier said than done, when you are getting to know someone you never knew before there is a lot of space for misunderstandings. 
Trying to get out of your "shell", but then at the same time needing to understand who you are speaking to and how to measure the weight of your words.


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